Old College Try

Have you ever looked back in your dating life and wondered why you and a person didn’t work out? You are drawing blanks trying to remember what happened...

During college, I dated this guy Mike. We only went out a few times, but of course ended up having sex. Me, not being completely over my ex, of course sabotaged what ever relationship we could have had. Of course he remembers the exchange differently than I do. I guess I ended up cussing him out (this happens frequently, so I don’t remember, lol).

We remained friends through everything. And when we graduated, he came to my graduation party where we partied throughout the night. The guy that I was dating was there, but I was having more fun with Mike. He was always cute, and had the deepest dimples when he smiled.

Warning, this post is long!

In 2007, about a year after graduation and about six years since we actually “dated,” my grandmother passed. I may have put something on Facebook about the funeral or sent a text to all of my phone contacts about the arrangements. Imagine my surprise to see him there. Some of closest and oldest girl friends didn’t show up to the funeral. After, he came and hung out with my fam at the dinner. All of my family fell in love with this smart, polite man and most assumed we were a couple since he kept checking on me and being right there for me. Bringing me food or drinks, even carrying my bag and laptop at some point.

Though I told everyone that we weren’t together, I began to wonder WHY we didn’t stay together. I was having a case of selective amnesia, so I didn’t recall the cussing out incident. We began calling each other and talking more often. Less than a week after the funeral, he told me he got a job offer in Dallas and would be moving soon. Things went quickly after that. I gave him space to get his affairs in order before his move and we hung out before he left.

We would talk occasionally when he was in Texas. But may only once a month or so. About a year after his move, he called and invited me to TGI Friday’s since he was in town for his birthday. He told me a bunch of his other friends would be there as well.

I got there, late as usual. But he moved people around so that we sat next to each other. I didn’t know anyone else at the table, but he introduced me around and we had fun talking and eating that evening. At some point he put his hand on my thigh, but I didn’t move it. Shortly after that, he began holding my hand, which we didn’t even do when we dated for a whole month. As we left the restaurant, he said goodbye to some friends and walked me to my car, and then kissed me. It was a comforting surprise. He had to take his sister home and we parted ways.

He sent me a text later that night asking to come by and maybe go have a drink. When he got there I was just jumping in the shower. As I was in the shower freshening up for the night, he joined me. It was the shower scene that most women dream of about. The rest of the night was just as great.

We continued this for about six months. He came to town about once a month. We’d go out, hook up, have fun and go back to our regularly scheduled lives when the weekend was over. Slowly, he stopped coming to town as much, I got busy with work and stopped calling and texting as much.

It’s been a few years, so when he called to say he was in town, I was definitely game to see him. I had been in a little sex rut, so I was really excited for some good stuff. But it turned out just okay. He wasn’t attentive as he used to be, we both had gained a little weight and he just didn’t last as long as he used to. Honestly, it just wasn't that good, especially for what I had hyped up in my head. I was even disappointed I canceled the bar to hang out with him.

Sometimes, it takes the relationships that don’t last forever to teach us the lessons that will.

I was excited to sleep with Mike again and I gave it the old college try. I’m glad we hooked up again, because I have finally realized something that I do. I have a very bad habit of going back to guys, because they were good in bed or because I don’t feel like for anything different or new. I’m letting it sink in that there was a reason that it didn’t work out, and I’m not helping anything by continuing to go back. Though Mike and I will continue to be friends, I will no longer let him in my bed. And I hope never to let anyone else from the past back either.