Stuck in Time

I think everyone has something that an ex has gave them. Perhaps its a small memento like a card or photo. Or maybe it was a nice purse, watch or other expensive gift. But if the person is an ex, why are you holding on the item. Is it because of what it costs or what it signifies?



I was with Married guy for a number of years. We were serious for about four and on and off for another four or five years. Even as I type this I realize how stupid I was to have dedicated so much of my time, life and love to someone that wasn't totally mine. But, more about our relationship in another post (mainly because I know I'm not the only woman that has gotten caught up with a married guy).

I can recall almost every gift that he gave me. When he did it and even how he did it. Before him (I was only 21 when we meet), I hadn't really gotten too many gifts before and none as expensive as what he had given me. We actually met a few weeks before my 22nd birthday. So the first year, I received a few dozen roses and a nice dinner. For my 23rd birthday, he had given me a really nice watch with a value of about $115. Until then, the most expensive watch I had was worth about $50 and I purchased it myself. This watch was beautiful. Stainless and gold, thin to match my small wrist and nice enough to wear to work. I wore this watch all the time. I replaced the battery a couple times, but a couple years ago when it died I didn't think much of it because I rarely wore watches anymore.

Last week, I noticed the watch, and decided to get the battery replaced. I went to a store near my office and  found a really reasonable price. As I was walking out the store I noticed that the second hand was getting stuck. I went back in and the girls tried to blow some dust out and see if there was something they could do do to repair it. However, they said it would have to go back to the manufacturer for repairs. I walked away thinking, why am I holding on to this watch. There were nicer ones in the store, that I could now afford on my own. And I even owned some other watches that needed batteries, but I kept holding on to this one. 

I finally realized, I was holding on because it was from him. It was the first tangible gift that he gave me. Our first Christmas I got perfume, so that was gone. All the flowers had died. But this watch reminded me of what made me think he was special. But was he really special? I wasn't the only woman. He had his wife and countless others, I later found out. So why was holding on to this watch like it was something special? I began to think about the guy I've been dating, and the other watches that I had and realized it wasn't the watch I was holding on to, but him. So I put a post on Facebook about letting go of the watch and him. And my wise cousin left this comment - 

"It is not good to take a watch from someone you are in a relationship with, it stops time from moving on"

Like that second hand on the watch, I think I really was stuck. I would start to move on, and then get that call or text from him, that would get me to go back. I'd have him for one night, then be afraid to move on because maybe he still wanted me. Since I met this new guy, I realize that I had a pattern with married guy. I'd begin to move on, he'd call or text then I'd get sucked back into thinking that there could be something there. Just wanted to give everyone this reminder, don't get stuck in a past relationship or on something that someone gave you. Move on and get rid of those pointless gifts!