Dating a Divorced Dad

It's been four months since DW and I met and started going out. Things seem to have moved pretty quickly, much to my surprise. The night we met we talked about kids, I really don't know how it came up, but I can't lie- I was pretty tanked that night. I told him that I didn't have kids and didn't really like them. Of course as I'm running my big fat mouth, I didn't know that the had three kids.


A few weeks later, we were out and he mentioned that he wasn't sure about dating someone that didn't like kids, because his kids meant the world to him. Crap, how far and fast could I backpedal? I tried to explain that I did want kids one day, but I am nervous about them. Afraid I may "break them" or something. Yes, I said break them. I have no patience and not much experience with little ones since my teenage years when my brothers were little. Have you seen babies? They're tiny and wiggle a lot, plus I'm clumsy and prone to drop things. Also, emotionally I've gone through a lot with my parents and would hate to be the cause of sending another kid to therapy.

Not sure if he really understood what I was saying or how I meant it. But when he asked me how many kids I wanted, I definitely wasn't listening to him. I told him one or two. He said, "what about three?" I almost spit out my ice cream and said "three is too many. Don't think I can handle that, plus when would I have them." He dropped the subject, and it took me days to realize that he was probably talking about his three, d'oh.

He's fighting his ex-wife for parenting time and perhaps custody. He literally has the kids for half of the month. They are fighting about every minute he spends with them, and lets just say, he gets stuck with most of the weekends. It really affects our relationship since I don't work weekends and of course that's when I want to go out. I still haven't met the kids and very nervous to do so. He's actually never introduced his kids to any one he has dated before. I probably only see him once or twice a week, since the kids spend about four nights a week at his house.

The love that he has for his children has made me want different things. I want kids now. I see that every guy isn't a deadbeat and there are men that will put their children first. We've talked about kids a few times now (I swear how fast this relationship is moving is scary). I told him more of my childhood and he's told me more about his ex and we talked about why we both have apprehensions towards relationships. He's not sure if he can afford more kids, and he has a hard time making sure his three get enough attention from him. I told him that I'm pretty much on my biological clock now (never thought I would be thinking about that). That I need to meet, marry and get pregnant in the next three years. And not to sound bold, but I can't get stuck in a relationship that may end up going nowhere. His words, "you never know what the future has for us and I could really something happening here, but I need to go slow. You deserve everything you want and one day you'll have your kids."

How can you not like a guy with such smooth lines as this? Either way, we're still dating, and somewhere said  we're dating exclusively. So do I just go with this and hope that one day he's ready to get married again? When should I worry about meeting the kids? Dating a divorced dad was definitely not in my plan, but he truly makes me want to change all my plans.