Married Guy, Finding Out

So me and married guy had been dating for about seven months. Things were good. We went and had fun. He spent the night at my house and I spent the night at his a few times. We spoke on the phone, both house and cell, at all times of the night. I was really falling in love with this guy. He was sweet and attentive. We had a lot in common, despite the 14 year age difference. And we had a lot of fun when we went out. Plus the sex was awesome. I was young, so of course I was being introduced to things I had never done before.

I knew that dating a married man was wrong,
but what happens when you think you're in love?

A few months after we began dating, I quit my job and was looking for another one, but I still hadn't finished college, so my experience was limited to some time I spent as an office assistant then sales person. Married guy was a recruiter, and soon began helping me with my resume and lining up job interviews for me. After a really great interview with an auto supplier, I decided to meet him at his office for lunch.

Stuck in Time

I think everyone has something that an ex has gave them. Perhaps its a small memento like a card or photo. Or maybe it was a nice purse, watch or other expensive gift. But if the person is an ex, why are you holding on the item. Is it because of what it costs or what it signifies?

Laws of Attraction

Everyone one has a type that they find attractive. Sometimes that type changes over time or you go phases. For awhile, most of the guys I dated were tall, dark skinned, muscular with a shaved head. There was usually a motorcycle involved too, but that's another story for another post.

As of lately, I really don't know what my type of guy is. I'm not gravitating towards one particular look or type of guy. I've even started dating more white, hispanic and middle eastern guys. I've spent years dating only black men. Luckily black men come in all different shades so you could end up with one as dark and fine as Idris Elba or the other side spectrum like Jesse Williams. But that is a beauty of black men, there are so many different shades and types.

So what if you aren't physically attracted to someone right away? I've said before that someone has grown on me, but that usually meant their personality or some other quirk they have. As I have gotten older I realize that I don't want someone's personality to grow on me. I want someone that I click with right away.

Old College Try

Have you ever looked back in your dating life and wondered why you and a person didn’t work out? You are drawing blanks trying to remember what happened...

During college, I dated this guy Mike. We only went out a few times, but of course ended up having sex. Me, not being completely over my ex, of course sabotaged what ever relationship we could have had. Of course he remembers the exchange differently than I do. I guess I ended up cussing him out (this happens frequently, so I don’t remember, lol).

We remained friends through everything. And when we graduated, he came to my graduation party where we partied throughout the night. The guy that I was dating was there, but I was having more fun with Mike. He was always cute, and had the deepest dimples when he smiled.

Warning, this post is long!

Turn Offs: Shy Guy

So I've talked a lot about the guy from the bar. I thought of giving him an alias, but this is probably the last time I will talk about him, so he's not worth it now, lol. If you've seen the other posts "Who's On First" and "Who's on First Update", you can learn what was going on with this cutie I saw at the bar a couple months ago.

Well, I gave him my card and didn't ask for his contact information. It took a while for him to contact me (you would know this if you read Who's on First Update, lol). So here's the run down of what happened when he finally contacted me.

Wordless Wednesday: Arm Candy

Hill Harper

Boris Kodjoe

I have to go to a lot of different events. And I realize that I need some arm candy to go with me. I want someone that's hot, well spoken, smart and looks great in or out of a suit.

Hill Harper has all the smarts, and he isn't bad to look at either. Hill is an accomplished actor and writer. He also has a law degree from Harvard and a Masters of Public Administration from Harvard. This man would look great on my arm at any event I need to attend. 

I already know that Boris Kodjoe is married, but just look at him. He could be as dumb as a box of rocks and he would probably get a pass. I mean seriously. Look at him and his body. Whew, his wife Nicole is very lucky person.

Now, I just hope to be lucky enough one day to find some arm candy that I wouldn't mind taking somewhere.

Barely Satisfied

I really enjoyed this guy’s company (*Phil). We have nice talks and he didn’t seem to be in a rush to do anything. Maybe I rushed him. I started feeling like a teenager again and we would have these hour long make-out sessions. We’d make out in the car and steam the windows. And not having sex in over eight months really made me want him even more, especially after all the teenage fooling around.

Singing Saturday: Minute Man

I hate minute men. Question is, how do you deal with it? Just don't mess with them any longer or try to make it work.

Who's on First Update

Last month I blogged about a guy at the bar and we both seemed to be checking each other out. You don't remember that post? Well read "Who's on First" before reading this any further. OK, now that you are caught up, let me tell you what's happened next.

Wordless Wednesday: It's a Woman's Game Now

I'm going to play like a guy for a while, so... Don't hate the player, hate the game.

I'm tired of being that girl that's only dating one guy. I'm dating for fun now and making sure my dance card is full.

Job Description: Maintenance Man

Most single women have had a maintenance man in their life at some point. Most women don't talk much about these men, even to their best girl friends. What is a maintenance man? Here's how the Urban Dictionary defines the term:

Maintenance man - A man who is called upon for simple maintenance issues a woman may have. For example, unclogging her pipes, knocking wood, or laying pipe. The woman is typically a yuppie who is not interested in a relationship, at least not with the man in question. The maintenance man usually does his job in the late evening and leaves when the "job" is complete. Maintenance man services are free of charge.
Are women too afraid to talk about their casual sex lives? Is it wrong for a woman to need a tune up every now and then?

The maintenance man category is much better than dealing with a "friend with benefits." There's no pressure to keep the friendship with your maintenance man, most likely because you have no friendship. You don't discuss work, family or life with this guy. You don't have to dress up or put on makeup, but shaving your legs is highly recommended. This guy is kept around mainly because he knows his job, and he's pretty good at it.

My First Online Date

I’ve done the online dating thing before. In fact, years ago before it was very popular. I found it was a great way to weed out some of the guys. A way to get to know someone before you actually went out (cause blind dates suck!). I actually found a really nice guy and we dated for a few years.

Who's on First?

I've been checking this guy out for a few weeks, maybe a month now. He's been coming in my regular spot every Friday. Sometimes I see him on Saturday's or another day throughout the week. He's always alone and doesn't really start up any conversations with other people. And I've been waiting patiently for him to make this first move.

They're Here, There and Everywhere

Why is it that you can go weeks without running into someone you dated, slept with or want to sleep with then they all seem to converge on the same place? And none of these guys have anything in common.

As I type this I'm looking at my former maintenance man, a guy I'm somewhat dating and the bartender that I want to just try for a night. Maintenance man is bringing back some really good memories of all the the things that the current guy can't or hasn't lived up to. And I've been looking at the bartender with a flirty grin since he started. So what's a girl to do?

Go home and hope to get satisfied with my five minute guy? Meet my old maintenance man who doesn't have a problem putting in five hours? Or maybe try something new.

I think I'm going to be a good girl and go home alone again. This post may make me sound a little promiscuous, but most single women in their 30s have these same men in their lives so be proud of getting yours in.

So You Say He's Just a Friend

I said it several times. He's just a friend. Why is it so hard for some people to accept men and women being just friends. I often say its the lack of confidence that causes them not to trust their partner near other people. Well I have the confidence to not worry that my man would cheat.

Single Confidence or Confidently Single

I happened by this blog post today and author Clare wonders if confidence is a curse for women. I have often wondered that myself. Even a few good male friends of mine have often said that my confidence scares some guys away. All I ever wonder is why?

My confidence brings a lot to the table. I'm not a cocky person, but I have enough confidence in myself that I'm not running around checking a guys phone or need to be under him all the time. I know what I want, I communicate clearly and don't have time for a bunch of bull shit.

Why I Date

There have been a few times that I have given up on dating. I just don't find the guys that hold my interest or they may not be on my level. Several times I thought about swinging the other way, but honestly I like men way too much to be with a female. Plus, I don't think I could share the bathroom with another woman.

A lot of my friends that have moved away from Detroit, says its the city. I won't be able to find a good man until I get out of Detroit. I believed this for quite a while, but then I looked around and saw several friends from work and college that had successful marriages with people from the area. So then I wondered, is it me?